Turning the key to lock my office suite door, my thoughts switch to the next few hours. Taking a deep breath, I sense a shift inside me. I feel like the fully functioning “adult me” who met with clients all day went missing and was replaced by a nervous, insecure adolescent. Walking out to my car, I begin to prepare for a first date with a man I am meeting for the first time.
Driving home, I start thinking about all that has happened over the last year: the grieving, renewal, healing and uncertainly. Remembering all the countless hours of prayer, tender encounters with Divine Love and experiences of long forgotten parts of me coming alive these last few months, a sacred calm flows out of me. I sense the embrace of my Creator.
Pulling into my driveway, I feel excited about taking this step forward though it is filled with uncertainty. I remind myself of the contact I have enjoyed with this man up to this point. I have every reason to believe he shares many of my values. I won’t know for certain until I know. I am ready to find out. Did I just say that? Ok, now I know I am ready.
After the exuberant greeting from my pups, I must rush to complete necessary tasks before heading out for my date: feeding the dogs, changing clothes, necessary primping and the ever present conversations with God. I am as ready as I can get. I smile nervously, yet hopefully as I step into the next chapter of Resurrecting Larko.
Closing up the house, checking on the dogs and one last look in the mirror, I feel steady and centered in who I am. I am determined to be me and not feel I need to be someone else. Remembering God is with me, I am not going on this adventure alone.
Driving to our meeting location, I pray for God to show me what I need to see about this man and for him to see what He wants to show him about me. Now it is time to leave any expectations and agendas behind and simply enjoy the rest of the evening,
The Resurrected Larko is on the move!